


Stargazing

by PONKAN



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Angst, Balcony Dates, Choi Soobin-Centric, Dialogue Heavy, Drama, Drinking, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Neighbors, Short, Slow Burn, Stargazing, Strangers to Lovers, Yeonbin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25131616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PONKAN/pseuds/PONKAN
Summary: Soobin starts his new life away from his hometown and meets Yeonjun, his heartbroken neighbor, while stargazing on his apartment balcony. He's happy that he makes a friend but doesn't realize he's fallen in love with him until the last night.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	1. "Room 305"

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first au, so please don't expect a lot. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> The events in this story are pure fiction and not related to the real idols. This au is only written for entertainment.

Room 304. That was the apartment Soobin was moving in and where his new life will start. It wasn’t much but it was nice, although he thought the walls were too thin. Music could be heard playing from Room 305, the room beside him, but the tenant seemed to have very good taste, so it was fine. He wiped the sweat dripping down from his forehead as he opened a heavy cardboard box with “BOOKS” written on the side. It was a hot summer morning when he moved in. The apartment was well-lit with sunlight so he could see very well that he was surrounded by cardboard boxes of different sizes, with different labels on them, and most were unopened. 

“Am I gonna finish unpacking everything today?” Soobin thought to himself and sighed.

Fortunately, he did finish unpacking by nightfall. He was exhausted but he still didn’t miss his favorite thing to do in the world: stargazing. This was very important to him and he has done it every day of his life since he was a child. The roof was off-limits to residents but at least his apartment has a balcony. He stepped onto the balcony and gazed at the stars in the night sky. The corner of his lips tried to reach his ears and his eyes smiled along. He was so happy just seeing them and made him feel as light as a feather. A day has twenty four hours but he is always happiest at this time even if he spends just a minute for it.

While he was in his own world, all he could hear were car engines as they drove by his apartment building, until he was interrupted.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” an unfamiliar voice asked softly. Surprised, Soobin turned his head to see the owner of the voice had blonde hair and a sad smile, standing on the neighboring balcony, also watching the stars. He did not answer immediately but noticed how charming this person was, especially his twinkling eyes resembling a star, but it was full of sorrow. The young man looked like he was about to cry.

“Yeah, they are,” Soobin answered shyly. He didn’t get a reply and saw tears slowly flowing from the young man’s eyes. He was startled, at the same time concerned. When he was about to say something, the young man whispered, “I’m sorry,” and went inside his room leaving Soobin confused.

  
  



	2. Yeonjun

The blonde young man, who seemed to be the tenant in Room 305, was in Soobin’s mind until the next day. From when he woke up, he heard the music from next door, he thought about him. Even while running his errands, when night came, he kept thinking about “Room 305,” the mysterious neighbor he had. This was not because he was a very charming person but because their encounter was very strange. Even as he stepped onto the balcony to do his daily ritual, he still thought, “Will he watch the stars today too?”

Soobin heard footsteps slowly getting louder and Room 305 stepped onto the balcony next to his. He didn’t notice he was staring at him until their eyes met.

“I’m sorry about last night. Did I scare you?” his neighbor smiled as he asked Soobin worriedly. 

“Oh no, it’s fine.” Soobin said quietly. Now that he had a better look at him, he realized that he was not only charming but very handsome as well.

“I’m Yeonjun, by the way. Are you the one who moved in recently?” Yeonjun asked.

“Yes, I moved in yesterday. I’m Soobin.”

“It was your first day here yesterday and I already scared you. I’m really sorry about that, Soobin.”

“It’s fine, really. Don’t worry about it.”

Yeonjun smiled upon hearing Soobin’s words but his smile looked sad. Soobin was wondering why but remained quiet as he didn’t want to be nosy.

“The stars really are pretty.” Yeonjun asked, staring at the sky.

“They’re wonderful! I see them every night and they make me so happy.” Soobin immediately replied. He was very enthusiastic whenever it came to stargazing.

“Really? I’d like to say the same but I think they’re…”

Yeonjun couldn’t finish his sentence without choking up. This worried Soobin so he mustered up the courage to ask about it. But when he was about to say something, Yeonjun interrupted him with, “I’m sorry again. Good night, Soobin. It was nice meeting you,” and with a forced smile on his face, he left Soobin alone.

  
  



	3. Neighbor

The night quickly passed and It was another busy day for Soobin but his mind was occupied with what happened the night before, especially when he heard the music from next door.

“I’ve never seen someone so sad because of the stars,” he thought while he was on the way to buy groceries. “I’ll try asking him about it tonight.”

And so the day finally ended. The sky turned dark, the stars showed themselves, and it was time for Soobin to gather his courage again and ask Yeonjun the question. As he went to the balcony, he was surprised to see Yeonjun already there before him. When Yeonjun saw Soobin, he quickly wiped his tears away as if he was ashamed of being seen crying by someone he just met, but he wasn’t quick enough. Soobin saw the tears on his face just like the first night he saw him. Without hesitation, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

Yeonjun opened his mouth but no words came out. He didn’t know what to tell him, but he saw Soobin wearing that serious look on his face with his furrowed brows, eagerly waiting for his answer, and this made him laugh. He laughed very loudly in front of a confused Soobin.

“I’m so so sorry!” Yeonjun apologized while he continued laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Soobin asked, confused and annoyed.

“It’s just that I didn’t know what to say and you looked so cute waiting for me to say something,” Yeonjun answered as he wiped his tears, not anymore from crying but from laughing excessively.

“W-What?!” Soobin cried out as his face turned red. “But seriously, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. You cried for three days in a row.”

“Oh. Do you like me?”

Soobin was speechless. Yeonjun just called him cute then asked such a question all of a sudden. With red cheeks, he looked at Yeonjun with a look that speaks “Are you serious?”

“I’m joking!” Yeonjun exclaimed. “If you don’t like me, then why do you seem worried?”

“I’m just worried,” Soobin replied while blushing.

“But, I'm just a stranger to you.”

“And?”

Yeonjun was moved. He smiled faintly and looked up at the heavenly bodies that made him cry. Soobin waited for him to speak as he looked at him with worried eyes.

“The stars remind me of someone,” Yeonjun said hesitantly. “We broke up recently. We were together for almost two years. That’s all.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that,” Soobin said softly.

“I told you, it’s nothing.” Yeonjun said as he tried to brush it off. “And hey, I didn’t cry yesterday.” He chuckled as he waved Soobin goodbye and was about to enter his apartment until he heard his name.

“Yeonjun,” Soobin called him. “You’re not just a stranger, you’re my neighbor and now my friend too.”

Soobin hurriedly entered his apartment leaving Yeonjun hanging. He was embarrassed to death when he said such a cheesy line but he’s glad he made his first friend after starting his new life. Then he realized, that night was the first night he didn’t gaze at the stars, which he loved so much, but at Yeonjun.

  
  



	4. Love?

Soobin woke up the following day feeling refreshed. He finally freed his mind from continuously thinking about why Yeonjun was crying the past few days. But when he heard the usual music coming from next door, he covered his face with both hands, and wanted to scream, yet kept silent. He was cringing at himself and mulled over how he was going to face Yeonjun if they see each other when he goes stargazing later that night. 

“Ah, whatever. It’s not a problem,” he thought over and over again as if he was convincing himself. He continued on his day but he still couldn’t shake the vision of himself getting all red in front of Yeonjun until it was nighttime. Unlike the night before, he peeked over the neighboring balcony to see if Yeonjun arrived first before stepping onto his own balcony. When the coast was clear, he confidently stood there and watched the stars like he did his whole life. 

“Hi friend,” Yeonjun greeted him.

Soobin didn’t hear him coming. He looked at Yeonjun, who appeared out of nowhere, with a startled expression on his face. Yeonjun was smiling at him like a fox while Soobin was trying not to blush. 

The city was unusually quiet that night, as if it went to sleep. None of them said a word as the wind blew through the summer night. The silence didn’t bother Soobin because he felt at peace as he gazed at the stars he loved so much. Then the silence was broken.

“Is stargazing part of your daily schedule?” Yeonjun innocently asked.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Soobin replied calmly. “I thought stars reminded you of your lover?”

“It’s become a habit, I guess,” Yeonjun said and sighed, holding his nape. “He loved the stars so much, we spent hours on this little balcony every night.” There was a pause. “And you? Why do you see them every night?”

“I just love seeing them. They make me feel at peace. I was very lonely growing up but being surrounded by all these stars made me feel less lonely.”

“Why were you lonely?”

“My family neglected me and friends always left me after a while, so I moved far away and left them, instead. But stars never leave you, so I found a small apartment with a balcony to see them better, and here I am.”

“Good for you. I hope the stars stay that way for you.”

“I’m sorry they hold a painful memory for you now, but if they remind you that you once experienced love, isn’t it good too? Although I’m not sure what love feels like.”

“But you love something. You love your stars.”

No words were uttered for a while but Yeonjun’s words echoed in Soobin’s mind. He smiled and said, “You’re right. I never thought of it that way.” He looked at Yeonjun with his innocent eyes as he chuckled softly. Yeonjun’s heart raced while looking at his bunny-like neighbor softly looking at him. He tried to hide it by saying, “You’re seriously so cute, Soobin. You look like a bunny.” Soobin’s eyes widened and tried to cover his blushing face with his hand. Yeonjun giggled at Soobin’s reaction and continued on, “I hope you’re not lonely anymore now that I’m your friend.”


	5. Grape Juice

Soobin woke up the next day a little after noon. He sat up and suddenly remembered Yeonjun’s words. “You’re seriously so cute, Soobin.” Yeonjun seemed to only play music in the morning, since Soobin didn’t hear it but even if there was music, it’d be drowned out by the echoing of Yeonjun’s words from the previous night. It echoed in his head a few times and the next thing he knew, he was smiling from ear to ear. Everytime he heard it in his head, his heart raced and didn’t know why. 

Soobin had nothing to do that day nor the day after so he took a shower and went out to go around the city alone. As he looked for a nice place to have lunch, he thought about what to get for dessert after, what to do tomorrow, and stargazing with Yeonjun later that night. 

He thought about Yeonjun. Yeonjun, his blonde hair and his twinkling eyes, resembling the stars. He thought about the sorrowful Yeonjun when they first met a few days before and he thought about the Yeonjun smiling like a fox. Soobin thought Yeonjun was attractive everytime he got a look at him but he preferred it when he smiled.

Soobin ended his day out and walked home with a bag full of bread on one hand and an ice cream cone on the other. There was a smile on his face as he hummed a tune. His smile got wider as he got nearer his apartment. When he arrived home, he saw himself in the mirror and Yeonjun’s words echoed in his head again. He blushed and tried to shake it off, “What the hell am I doing?” He put down the paper bag and quickly finished his ice cream while he went to the same balcony he visited every night. He watched the orange sun set which signaled the time is near for the stars to shine. He felt the warm air feel a little bit colder as night came and to his surprise, Yeonjun came to feel it too.

“You’re early today,” Yeonjun asked curiously.

“I like sunsets too,” Soobin answered innocently. “Although it isn’t very visible here.”

“And me?” Yeonjun was teasing him.

Soobin looked at him all weird. It was the second time he asked something like this with that foxy look. “Do you flirt with just anyone?” Soobin tried to get back at him.

“Not just anyone,” Yeonjun said softly and winked at him. 

Soobin failed. He didn’t know if he should be embarrassed or irritated by what Yeonjun said so he tried to keep a straight face, but what he didn’t know was his red cheeks were completely out there. “See you later,” he just said as he went back inside to have dinner.

He stepped onto the balcony again after a few hours passed and saw Yeonjun leaning over the railings as he held a wine glass in one hand, looking at a distance. 

“Special occasion?” Soobin asked harmlessly.

“Our anniversary,” Yeonjun answered as he continued looking far away. “Supposed to be our second.”

Soobin apologized immediately and Yeonjun gave no response. He was ashamed and hated himself for a second to have asked that question without giving it much thought.

“Last year, we drank wine right here and promised to do it every year after that,” Yeonjun continued. “I didn’t think I’d be drinking alone tonight.”

“Then I’ll drink with you,” Soobin said confidently. He knew that he never drank before and that it was a stupid idea to offer himself as someone’s drinking buddy but he still said it. Yeonjun finally looked at him with a sad smile and went inside his apartment. Soobin stood there and waited for him to come back with another glass. Yeonjun stretched his arm over to Soobin’s balcony and passed the wine glass to him. He waited until Soobin took a sip.

“W-Why? What’s wrong?” Yeonjun asked worriedly. Lines appeared when he furrowed his brows as he was concerned.

Soobin’s face was full of disgust after tasting the wine. He didn’t know it didn’t taste like grape juice. “My whole life was a lie,” he thought. 

Yeonjun’s face that was full of concern turned into one that was suspicious of the other. “Don’t tell me... you thought it tasted like grape juice?” he asked.

Soobin couldn’t hide his expression no matter how much he tried. He was both embarrassed and shocked at the same time, because Yeonjun read him so well. 

Yeonjun reached his hand over to Soobin’s balcony to take the wine glass back but Soobin refused and told him he’d finish it. Yeonjun smiled at him and thanked him for keeping him company on such a beautiful night. Soobin stared at the glass and ridiculously, he closed his eyes and gulped it down. He thought if he finished everything quickly then he wouldn’t have to keep tasting it.

It was quiet for quite some time until the blonde looked over the bunny-like man’s balcony to see why he was silent and called him. Soobin looked at him and said, “Can I hold your hand?” Yeonjun didn’t expect that from him but still agreed and stretched his hand out. Soobin grabbed it and almost covered Yeonjun’s hand with his own. 

“Your hand is huge,” Yeonjun said. 

“Your hand is warm,” Soobin replied.

Yeonjun was unguarded and kept hearing unexpected words from him, yet he giggled softly as he stared at what seemed like an intoxicated Soobin with rosy red cheeks. “He’s so cute,” he said in his head as he held his hand throughout the night.

  
  



	6. Nap of a Star

Soobin slept like a baby like he had no worries in the world, even when he was drenched in sweat when he woke up. With eyes still closed, he wiped his forehead, and only then did he realize that the air conditioner stopped working during his sleep and holding Yeonjun’s hand wasn’t a dream. He opened his eyes and as he was staring at the ceiling, memories of last night flashed by his mind. He covered his face with both hands as he felt so embarrassed of the things he said to Yeonjun. To Yeonjun! All sorts of thoughts rushed in his head. How is he going to face him now? What should he do? What if Yeonjun misunderstands?

Soobin kept himself busy the whole day; had the air conditioner fixed, and did whatever could help him forget about it. It was difficult. “Can I hold your hand? Your hand is warm,” these words haunted him. He heard it at the back of his mind every time he glanced at the balcony. It was nearing dark when he thought, “Should I just not go out tonight?” but turned it down right away. If he didn’t go out tonight, then he wouldn’t go out forever! He couldn’t stop stargazing just because of the stupid things he said. “It’s nothing!” he reassured himself and suddenly gained confidence.

He stepped onto the balcony with his heart pounding, but he looked like he was overflowing with confidence. He took a deep breath and turned his head to the side to see Yeonjun under the glowing moonlight. He looked so charming with glowing blonde hair, rosy lips, and those twinkling eyes, Yeonjun was looking up at the stars just like he did the previous nights. Soobin focused on those eyes, those eyes that twinkled like the stars and were engraved in his mind. Soobin felt his heart flutter but that immediately went away and he felt sad. He felt sad after seeing a tear trickle down from Yeonjun’s twinkling eye. Even Yeonjun himself was surprised by it and quickly wiped it down. He didn’t realize Soobin, looking glum, was there watching him. His unhappy lips immediately formed a smile as if to hide the fact that he cried again.

“Why are you just standing there and not saying anything,” Yeonjun said with a forced smile. “I didn’t know you already came.”

“I’m worried,” Soobin said softly.

“Hmm?”

“I’m worried,” he repeated, but louder this time. “I don’t like seeing you cry.”

Yeonjun’s heart skipped a beat. He lowered his head and tried to hide his blushing.

“S-Sorry, I just... got emotional,” Yeonjun apologized. “I’m still not used to waking up alone, especially today being a day after our supposed anniversary. Looking at the stars just... reminded me again.”

“Then let’s change it. You love music, don’t you? I hear music playing from your room every morning.” Soobin said with a serious look. He just thought of an idea to prevent the stars from making Yeonjun cry everytime. He’s not sure if it would work but he tried. 

“What?” Yeonjun asked, confused. “Yeah, I do love music. Sorry, was it too loud?”

“Don’t worry, it’s good music. I’ll sing you a song,” Soobin answered. “Then every time you see the stars, you’ll remember it and feel happy.”

“Oh, are you a good singer?”

“I’m the best,” Soobin said confidently with a smug look on his face.

Yeonjun laughed loudly for a while then asked, “What song are you going to sing?”

“It’s called ‘Nap of a Star’ by Tomorrow by Together.”

“The title sounds fitting. Although I don’t know them, it sounds like a nice song.”

“It is. They’re very good too and I like their oldest member the best.”

Now that he mentions it, Soobin thought Yeonjun resembled the oldest member of Tomorrow by Together. Is that why he’s so attracted to him? 

It suddenly fell quiet as if the world was listening. Soobin closed his eyes and started to sing.

> _“I can see, even if you aren’t in front of me_
> 
> _I feel you, even if you don’t say a thing_
> 
> _Because I believe in you, even if I’m insecure”_

Yeonjun looked at the stars as he was listening to Soobin’s song. Soobin was right, Yeonjun felt happy as he heard him sing his heart out. The soft melody and his beautiful voice rang in Yeonjun’s ears and brought him joy. For the first time in a while, he felt happiness again as he gazed at the shining stars in the night sky. 

> _“I can touch, even if you aren’t in front of me_
> 
> _I reach, even if you’ve gone far away_
> 
> _My heart always dances just at the memory of you_
> 
> _Like it used to before”_

Yeonjun turned his head to gaze somewhere else. He gazed at Soobin who was singing tenderly for someone he just met days ago. He noticed Soobin’s milky white skin, his big ears, and the dimples appearing a few times when his lips formed a smile. Yeonjun couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him. Seeing his face and hearing his voice made the night warm and peaceful. 

> _“I wanna be your nap and forever dream together_
> 
> _As if nothing is wrong_
> 
> _The afternoon sunset_
> 
> _And the darkening night sky_
> 
> _My heart is filled with you”_

Soobin opened his eyes slowly to gaze at the stars while he sang. The song made stargazing much better and his lips formed a smile as the lyrics flowed out naturally. It’s been a while since he sang this confidently in front of someone else. His family never supported his dream of being a singer which now has gone away. He felt extreme euphoria as he sang his heart out to the stars and to Yeonjun. For Yeonjun. 

With his falsetto voice, he continued singing for him. He turned his head to see Yeonjun staring at him dearly with what looked like loving eyes, without saying a word. Soobin’s heart fluttered and stopped singing abruptly.

“O-only until that part,” Soobin stuttered.

“Okay,” Yeonjun said. “You’ll sing the rest for me next time, won’t you?”

“I won’t!” Soobin refused. How could he sing for him again without getting nervous?

“But you really are the best!” Yeonjun praised him, and pleaded for Soobin to sing for him again.

“Well, okay then.”

Yeonjun chuckled and looked at Soobin pouting because he was swayed. While looking at the bunny-like man lovingly, he thought, “He really is so cute.” What was a smile on his face quickly turned into a frown. Soobin didn’t see this as he was admiring the stars above him as usual.

Minutes passed since Soobin stopped singing but the song lingered into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics translations not mine. Credits to the rightful owner. Here is the link where I got the [translations of the lyrics.](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2019/03/txt-tumoloubaitugedeo-nap-star-byeolui-najjam)


	7. Gift

Soobin was filled with joy from the moment he rose from bed to when he ran his errands. Hearing the usual tunes from Yeonjun’s room earlier that morning made the memory of singing in front of Yeonjun linger in his mind. He loved singing as much as he loved stargazing and thought maybe his forgotten dream of being a singer could come back after his short performance the night before. He hummed while he walked to finish his next errand and spotted a CD store at a distance. “It won’t hurt to stop by for a bit,” he thought. He entered the store and was surrounded by albums of different genres and eye-catching album covers. Looking around, he spotted a shelf that contained an album that was recognizable from far away. The album was colored light blue with a yellow and white plus on the cover. It was the album that contained the song he sang for Yeonjun last night. Soobin picked it up and brought it over the counter. With another bag added to his hand, he left the store.

He arrived in front of his apartment door after a full and tiring day and looked at the door that has “305” on it. “Should I give it to him now?” Soobin asked himself. “I’ll pass it on later,” he said, then unlocked his apartment door and went inside. He took the newly bought album and looked at it as he laid on the bed. “I’ve never even bought this for myself but I bought it for him,” he thought. Yeonjun was on his mind when he purchased it and thought he'd like it. Soobin smiled faintly and his dimples showed. Thinking about Yeonjun listening carefully to his singing last night made his heart flutter. He hugged the album as the image visualized in his head.

“It’s time to give this to him,” he thought as he stood up and looked at the poster that came with the album when he purchased it. “But the poster stays with me.” He chuckled.

Soobin went to the balcony with the album at hand. Yeonjun wasn’t there yet, and so he waited for him to come out. The stars were there to accompany him as he waited for his neighbor to arrive. He waited patiently as held on to the album tightly.

A few hours have passed and Yeonjun still hasn’t come. Soobin was chewing his lips and was a bit worried because this was the first time it happened, but he just thought maybe Yeonjun was tired and slept early. So Soobin went back inside, the album still in his possession.

“I’ll just give this to him tomorrow.”


	8. Things To Do

“He probably had things to do,” Soobin said softly, staring at the ceiling. “I thought he only stayed at home all day but maybe he’s busy too.”

Soobin couldn’t help but wonder why Yeonjun didn’t show up last night. He knew he was at home yesterday morning and he heard music playing as he was thinking about it. He kept thinking of possibilities and reasons that could explain Yeonjun’s absence. But he just kept busy to take his mind off it by doing chores, completing his to do list, and indulging himself with pastries from the small bakery he just discovered the other day. He told himself that it was none of his business.

By the end of the day, he finished all the things he had to do. He glanced at the album that was sitting on the table, and shifted his eyes towards the balcony. He could feel the summer wind blowing in from the outside while he sat on a chair, then suddenly he heard the sound of a sliding door from the next room. Hurriedly, he took the album in his hand and went to the balcony in hopes of seeing Yeonjun. A smile formed and his face lit up when he did. The same blonde Yeonjun with that foxy look and twinkling eyes was standing in the balcony next to his, smiling as he greeted Soobin with his gentle voice. Soobin stretched both his arms and handed the album over, “This is for you,” he said. “It’s the album that has ‘Nap of a Star.’ I wanted to give it to you last night but you didn’t come.” Yeonjun accepted it wholeheartedly and thanked him.

“I had some things to do,” Yeonjun told Soobin softly.

“What do you do?” Soobin asked innocently. He never thought about asking before. Soobin thought about what Yeonjun does in his daily life. Does he work? Does he study? Is he just a lazy bum?

“I’m starting work next week,” Yeonjun answered hesitantly, “in LA.”

“Oh, that’s great news!” Soobin didn’t immediately notice what Yeonjun said. “Wait, in LA?! You’re moving out?”

“In two days. Sorry, I didn’t tell you earlier. I couldn’t find the right timing.”

“In two days?!” Soobin was too shocked to hear that the dear friend he just made was already leaving him alone. His bright face became glum. But he thought up a good idea to properly say goodbye to his dear friend. “Let’s go to the beach tomorrow,” he invited Yeonjun.

“The beach?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun! We’ll go after we eat lunch. We can stargaze there, instead. Just so we could at least go somewhere before you leave. Unless you’re busy tomorrow?” 

“Not at all. Sure, let’s go to the beach.” Yeonjun said as he smiled faintly. 

He stared at Soobin who was facing the sky and seemed low-spirited. Yeonjun wanted to cheer him up so he said, “I’ll finally get to hold your hand properly!” and winked. But what he saw wasn’t a happy nor embarrassed Soobin but Soobin who was downcast and smiling sadly. Yeonjun couldn’t fake a smile anymore after seeing that. He sighed as he gripped tightly the album Soobin gave him.


	9. The Beach

Soobin stood in front of the mirror, scratching his head. “No, not this,” he kept saying every time he changed into a new outfit and criticized it upon seeing himself in the mirror. An hour had passed since he started doing this. He just couldn’t figure out what to wear to his first and only date with Yeonjun. “No, no, no! It’s not a date!” he told himself and shook his head. “It’s not a date,” he repeated and tried to convince himself that it really wasn’t a date with Yeonjun.

Finally, Soobin finished choosing his outfit. It took him over an hour just to end up wearing a loose white shirt and denim jeans. “It’s not a date and it’s better to wear something light to the beach anyway,” he thought. He looked at the time on his watch and it was almost noon. That explained why the sunlight looked too strong outside. Though he still heard Yeonjun’s music still playing, he got himself ready but his heart wasn’t. His heart was racing and stood by his front door awkwardly. Yeonjun told him he was going to knock on his door and just to wait inside. But Soobin couldn’t rest with the thought of Yeonjun knocking on his door running in his mind, so he stood there and waited.

It wasn’t long when Yeonjun’s music stopped and a knock came on the door. Soobin took a deep breath and turned the knob. When he opened it, in front of him stood Yeonjun all groomed from head to toe. He was wearing a loose v-neck sweater tucked in loose wide pants paired with big shoes. On his head was a bucket hat which covered his blonde hair, except for the strands that stuck out on the sides. He looked handsome on the balcony when he wore simple clothing but that was nothing compared to how he looked when he dressed up. Soobin couldn’t help but stare at this charming man.

“Have you fallen in love with me?” Yeonjun asked, showing his fangs as he smiled widely. His foxy look never went away.

“Y-You look good,” Soobin shyly said, trying to look away from Yeonjun’s gaze.

Soobin shut the door and they headed out of the apartment building to spend the day together. 

After some hours of talking, laughing, and flirting (by Yeonjun), they finally arrived at the beach right before the sun started to set. When they saw the blue sea, they immediately ran towards it and played like children. Screams and giggles were heard by other beachgoers, some even stopped to stare at them, but they didn’t care. This was the last day they’ll spend together before Yeonjun moves out the next morning. By the time the sky turned orange and the sun started to go down, they felt exhausted. They fell down on the sand and gazed at the sea to silently appreciate the view. They were quiet and all they could hear was water splashing on the shore. One didn’t know what the other was thinking as they stared at a distance. They just know that they’re together and they’re happy they met each other. Soobin sat with his knees pressed against his chest, hugging them. Beside him sat Yeonjun with legs stretched out and his hands behind him to support his upper body. None of them said a word the whole time. The silence was broken only when the stars made their appearance.

“When I saw you from the balcony,” Yeonjun started, “I knew you were tall but I just realized today that you’re really tall.” He chuckled softly.

“I get that a lot,” Soobin answered. “When I saw you from the balcony, I actually thought you looked handsome, but I guess the lighting wasn’t very good there.” He said jokingly.

“Hey, I know you think I’m perfect,” Yeonjun said and looked at him with disapproval. “Just a little more and you’ll realize you’ve fallen in love with me.” Yeonjun sounded so confident.

“Are you sure YOU haven’t fallen in love with me?” Soobin tried to tease him. Yeonjun’s flirty comments didn’t affect him anymore. At least not as hard. He looked at him with a similar foxy look Yeonjun always wore. “Maybe that’s why you keep calling me cute and whatever.”

“It’s because you really are cute.”

“Oh and after calling me cute, are you going to kiss me?”

Soobin was expecting Yeonjun to reply with something more witty but he didn’t hear anything from him. Instead, he saw the face of the charming man he saw on the balcony every night close to his own, gazing at him with the very same twinkling eyes. Soobin was mesmerized by Yeonjun’s beauty with moonlight shining on him and his rosy lips that were slightly separated. Slowly, Yeonjun raised his hand and put it on Soobin’s neck, just below his ear, and leaned close to his face. Soobin closed his eyes as Yeonjun put their lips together and kissed him softly. 

Except for the sounds of the waves and their heartbeats, the night was silent. It was like there were only two of them on that beach under the night sky full of stars and the moon shining on them. Their hearts continued to race even when Yeonjun moved away from the kiss. Soobin kept his eyes closed then he heard Yeonjun who giggled and said, “You’re too cute, Soobin, you really are.”

Soobin’s face was already red and warm but it got redder after hearing Yeonjun’s comment. He lowered his head to his knees in hopes of hiding it but Yeonjun cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead. Soobin felt like he couldn’t breathe, and his heart was beating so fast like it was going to explode. 

“You actually kissed me,” Soobin said while blushing.

“I actually did,” Yeonjun replied, still holding Soobin’s face and smiling shyly at him. He leaned in close to kiss him once more, sweetly. After their lips separated, Yeonjun pressed Soobin’s forehead against his, eyes closed, and they both slightly laughed. Soobin took Yeonjun’s hand from his cheek and held it. Both of them faced the sea, now colored black, as they sat closer, with their shoulders touching, and their fingers interlocked.

Aside from the stars, Soobin’s smile also shone brightly. His eyes smiled together with his lips as he thought about Yeonjun, whom he just kissed, until it occurred to him that it was also Yeonjun who’s leaving the next morning. His smile turned into a frown and he looked at Yeonjun whose smile was also glowing like the moon. He held his hand tightly and asked, “Can’t you stay?” He hoped to hear a “yes” but from the look of Yeonjun’s face, it seemed like he couldn’t.

“I can’t stay,” Yeonjun said softly. “It’s something I have to do, I really need to go.”

“Then I’ll come with you!” Soobin suggested. He wasn’t thinking much again before saying it but he knew that all he wanted to do was to be with Yeonjun. “I like you, Yeonjun.” 

Yeonjun was startled by Soobin’s confession and was left speechless. 

“If you can’t stay, then I’ll come with you. I just want to be by your side no matter where you go. I’ve only met you days ago but I feel like I’ve known you for years. I feel at home when I see you. I enjoy your company. You make me smile and you make me laugh. And you make me so embarrassed, I want to hide.” Soobin laughed. “This is the first time I’ve felt this but I think this is what it feels like to be in love.” 

“But what about your ‘new life?’”

“It’s just the beginning. I can continue it somewhere else, with you.”

“You just moved in!”

“I can move out!”

Yeonjun didn’t know what else to say as he saw Soobin staring at him with furrowed brows, enlarged eyes, and the determination to go to LA with him. “If it’s about money, don’t worry, I have a lot saved up!” Soobin held Yeonjun’s other hand and assured him. This made Yeonjun laugh as he saw Soobin looking so cute all set on moving across the globe just for him. Soobin didn’t know why Yeonjun laughed but this made him happy and relaxed, and he was overjoyed when Yeonjun finally allowed him to come. Soobin went in for a hug and held him tightly, not wanting to let go, but he had to let him breathe. After that discussion was closed, they laid down on the sand to stargaze while they held hands tightly.

Yeonjun pointed to a star in the sky and asked, “What’s that star’s name?”

“I don’t know,” Soobin answered.

“What about that one?” Yeonjun pointed to a different star.

“I also don’t know.”

“And that one?”

“No idea.”

“How could you not know their names if you love stargazing so much?”

“Do I have to know their names?”

“Not really, but I thought you’d know them.”

“Do you know them?”

“I know them but...”

“But?”

“I forgot.”

The stars watched them laugh like children. 

“Then let’s name that star Yeonjun,” Soobin said as he pointed at the sky, “and beside it is Soobin!” He turned his head to see Yeonjun’s eyes and thought they were his favorite stars. They stayed like this until it was time to head back.


	10. "Dear Soobin,"

The sun was already shining brightly making its way through the room when Soobin woke up. He had trouble sleeping when he came back from the beach with Yeonjun. Only the thought of Yeonjun filled his mind the moment he left him on his front door and it kept him awake for how many hours before sleeping tightly. 

“The time!” he exclaimed. It was an hour before noon when he checked. He was supposed to help move Yeonjun’s things to his own apartment because he’ll be staying there until they move out together in less than a week. He quickly got up and fixed his hair. But he felt there was something strange. Normally, he’d hear music coming from Yeonjun’s room but it was dead quiet today. “Perhaps it’s because he’s moving out?” Soobin thought and left the room.

He stood there smiling like an idiot in front of Room 305 for a few seconds before knocking. When he raised his fist to knock, the door suddenly opened and Mr. Kim, the landlord, was in his view. Mr. Kim was probably there because Yeonjun was moving out of his apartment. This thought ran in Soobin’s mind. 

“Room 304, correct?” Mr. Kim said. “Do you need anything?”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Kim. I have to speak to Yeonjun, err, the tenant in Room 305.” Soobin answered politely.

“He moved out and left this morning. I’m here to inspect the apartment, someone’s moving in in a few days. Didn’t you know?”

Soobin’s mind went blank. He couldn’t understand what Mr. Kim said. Without much thought, he entered the room, bumping Mr. Kim’s shoulder, and saw it was empty. There was nothing left. Nothing. Only Yeonjun’s scent lingered in the apartment room 305, the same familiar scent that he remembered from the beach.

Mr. Kim was puzzled by Soobin’s behavior and reached in his pocket. He took out a folded piece of paper and handed it to Soobin. “He told me to give this to you. I only remembered when I saw you.” 

He escorted Soobin out of the apartment and locked the door. Soobin watched the landlord lock it with one of the keys that came with many other keys, most likely for the other apartments. He still couldn’t think clearly even after the landlord left and went downstairs, then he opened the piece of paper. His heart dropped at the sight of the two words: “Dear Soobin,” his legs gave in and he fell to the floor. He continued reading even as his vision blurred with the tears getting in the way. 

> _“Dear Soobin,_
> 
> _I’m sorry I had to leave like this. I was happy when you told me you’d come with me no matter where I go. I got excited as I imagined it. During the past few days, even when I looked like a mess, you still accepted me. But I don’t think I’m ready to accept you._
> 
> _I didn’t want to admit it but you remind me too much of him. The day you moved in was the day he left. You had the same big hands. Your dimples. He loved the stars as much as you too. He tried to teach me all their names. Maybe the only difference was you didn’t know their names like I didn’t. I remembered him from every little thing until you came. Then I thought I forgot him. But I didn’t._
> 
> _I don’t think I can love you when I still love someone else. I’m sorry, Soobin. I really am. Thank you for making my last days there memorable._
> 
> _Love,_
> 
> _Yeonjun”_

Soobin was wailing in front of Yeonjun’s old apartment door. He cried his eyes out as he gripped the letter Yeonjun left him. He wanted to call him but he realized he didn’t know his number, he didn’t know how old he was, what work he’d do in LA, he didn’t know anything about him, not even his last name. “I felt like I’ve known you for years but I guess I really did just meet you last week,” Soobin thought as rivers of tears flowed from his eyes. His eyes and nose already turned red from all the crying. Suddenly, a thought rushed in his head. He followed the landlord downstairs and called him. Mr. Kim stopped in his tracks when he heard loud footsteps coming his way. 

“Mr. Kim, I’m sure you have Yeonjun’s phone number. I need it, please.” Soobin pleaded. He didn’t know what else to do but to beg the landlord for his number. Mr. Kim seemed suspicious of him at first but saw Soobin’s swollen eyes, looking so desperate. He figured he was the one crying loudly upstairs. He told him to follow him and showed him the file wherein Choi Yeonjun’s number was recorded. Soobin didn’t know he had the same last name as Yeonjun. He quickly took note of his number and dialed it to see if he’d answer. “Please, pick up.” Soobin thought as he chewed his lips. “Yeonjun?!” Soobin shouted.

_“The number you have dialed does not exist.”_

Soobin’s jaw dropped, with no words coming out. He reached a dead end. His first love left just like that, without a trace. Soobin cried. He cried until he got no tears left to cry.

  
  



	11. His Favorite Stars

Two years passed by quickly since Soobin started his new life. In those years, he lived happily alone, doing everything he loved, without anyone to go against him. He still went stargazing, although not so often anymore. He only went on days when his neighbor, who goes out the balcony wearing just boxers and no shirt, isn’t there to blow smoke from cigarettes and block his view of the stars. Soobin hated the smell too, so he bothered not to see them on some days. Occasionally, he went for walks at night just to see them. It’s the thing he loved doing the most, he’d still spend time on it even if a sad memory is already tied to it.

It was summer then too, when Soobin was sweating profusely while carrying grocery bags on both hands. He was walking home but a certain CD store caught his eye just like it did two years ago. He stopped in his tracks and thought for a second, whether to visit or not, and he did. “I’ll just look around and get myself out of the heat,” he thought as he went and entered the store. His face felt the cold air as soon as he opened the door, then he was surrounded by countless CDs. He continued to walk around and stopped in front of the same shelf he stood in front of when he last went there. The light blue album wasn’t there anymore but the shelf was filled with other albums. He stared at them but it didn’t take long until he left the store and went straight home.

The sun was still up when Soobin arrived at his apartment. He let out a deep sigh as he dropped the grocery bags on the floor. After stretching for a bit, his gaze shifted to the balcony and the grey smoke that was lingering outside. “I guess no stargazing tonight,” he sighed again and scratched his head. His neighbor was a real heavy smoker and could take hours there. 

He was making himself busy by putting his groceries to their rightful places until his eyes landed on the poster on his wall. Memories flashed back in his head as he stared at a certain member who looked like a certain someone. He was reminded of events that he said he forgot. Then he thought of something.

Hurriedly, he walked out of his apartment. He walked with a purpose and his mind was clear on where his feet were taking him. He rode the necessary transportation that will take him there. Some time later, he arrived at the beach. The first beach he went to after moving to this city. The place where he saw the stars best. The last place where he saw Yeonjun. This beach was full of memories of Yeonjun but Soobin didn’t care, it’s been how many days since he saw the stars properly and thought this place had the best view. He took his shoes off and ran barefoot on the sand with an orange colored sky above him. He was alone but he was happy, laughing like a child, and screamed when he touched the waters. The sound of his laughter was filled with joy and his eyes smiled along. And if anyone saw him, they wouldn’t know that he actually felt lonely inside.

The sun just went down when Soobin sat on the sand, legs crossed, and stared at the waves, listening to their splashing sounds. He thought about how it was such a good idea he went there to stargaze. Thoughts on his “new life” came rushing to his head. He was alone when he left his hometown and still alone at that moment. Then he turned his head to the sky and he smiled. He realized he wasn’t alone. The stars were there with him. But there was a time when he was with someone. Someone so charming, he couldn’t take his eyes off him. He laid himself on the sand and faced the stars in the night sky.

Soobin hated Yeonjun for breaking his heart and erased him from his memory. Although he said he did, he never took the poster down, and Yeonjun’s letter still sat in his drawer. The past two years, he tried to forget Yeonjun but couldn’t. He never forgot his foxy smile when he teased him. His laughter. His tears. Him. Soobin said he forgot but never actually did.

The stars never looked more beautiful during those two tears than it did on that lonely night. It was clear and the stars shone brightly. The night breeze slightly blew and aside from the sound of splashing waves, it was silent. Soobin felt at peace. He started to sing a little tune.

> _“I can see, even if you aren’t in front of me_
> 
> _I feel you, even if you don’t say a thing_
> 
> _Because I believe in you, even if I’m insecure”_

Soobin saw the star he once called Yeonjun, and the star beside it that he named Soobin. He took a deep breath.

> _“I can touch, even if you aren’t in front of me_
> 
> _I reach, even if you’ve gone far away_
> 
> _My heart always dances just at the memory of you_
> 
> _Like it used to before”_

His vision started to blur and a tear fell from his eye. He didn’t bother to wipe it and continued his song.

> _“I wanna be your nap and forever dream together_
> 
> _As if nothing is wrong_
> 
> _The afternoon sunset_
> 
> _And the darkening night sky_
> 
> _My heart is filled with you”_

His voice was breaking and he couldn’t continue. He covered his eyes as he sat up, pressed his knees against his chest, and hugged them. He lowered his head to cover his face and tears. “I miss him. It’s been two years but I miss him so much,” he thought as he cried softly. He was in his own world, all he could hear were his sobs, blending in with the sea waves, until he was interrupted. 

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” a familiar voice asked softly. Soobin raised his head to see who the voice belonged to but he couldn’t immediately figure out who it was because his tears blurred his vision. He wiped his eyes and saw the sad smile he saw on the balcony two years ago. Along with it were those twinkling eyes, his favorite stars, that he missed dearly. The owner of the voice had blonde hair and was very charming as he looked at the stars.

Soobin was so lost for words and his tears stopped. Yeonjun faced Soobin, took him in his arms and embraced him tightly. Tears fell down his cheeks as he held him. 

“I’m sorry I left you,” Yeonjun said softly. “While I was away, I couldn’t forget your bunny smile. How lovely you looked under the moonlight. And your sweet voice when you sang to me. Then I realized how stupid I was to leave you when you just wanted to be with me. Soobin, I-”

Soobin moved away aggressively from his embrace and saw his face wet with tears. Yeonjun was startled, not knowing what to do. Soobin stared at his twinkling star-like eyes, and suddenly, he smiled, showing his dimples. Gently, he held his face and pressed their lips together. He went in for a kiss. With their eyes closed, tears streaked down their cheeks. The sound of their beating hearts could be heard along with the sound of the waves. When they drew away from the kiss, they smiled happily as they stared at each other’s eyes. 

“I never got to say this before,” Yeonjun said softly. “I love you, Soobin.”

“I love you too, Choi Yeonjun.” Soobin replied and kissed his lips.

He threw himself in Yeonjun’s arms and they laughed as the stars watched them from above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of my first au! Thank you very much for reading until the end. I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> The original ending was supposed to be until Yeonjun's line, "Beautiful, aren't they?" only, but I felt like it'd be too abrupt and the readers would hate me for it. Hehehe. Anyways, thank you so much again for being a reader of my first au. If you liked it, please leave comments, they'll give me motivation to continue writing. Also, comments may help me improve my future works.
> 
> Again, the lyrics translations are not mine. I give credit to the original owner. Here is where I got the [translations.](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2019/03/txt-tumoloubaitugedeo-nap-star-byeolui-najjam)


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